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Ja-lene Clark

Ja-lene Clark

I am a wife, mom, and nana living in the beautiful state of Oklahoma. On my website, I offer my musings on spirituality, creativity, writing, family, and food.

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Home » Family

Family

Truth Belongs to the Reader

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Every now and then, something happens that quietly changes the way I see the world.

It isn’t usually a dramatic revelation or some earth-shattering event. More often, it’s an ordinary moment that suddenly causes a hundred unrelated pieces to fall into place. That happened to me this week while I was creating a birthday tribute for my Dad.

As I sorted through decades of photographs and home videos, I assumed the most meaningful moments would be the obvious ones—the birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and holidays. After all, those are the moments we usually preserve because we think they’re the most important.

Instead, I found myself lingering over something entirely different. It was the photograph of my dad laughing without realizing someone had taken his picture. It was the way he instinctively reached for one of us. It was the look on his face while carrying a child on his shoulders. None of these moments would ever make the front page of a scrapbook, yet together they told me more about who my Dad is than any milestone ever could.

As I watched those memories unfold, I realized that I wasn’t simply editing a video. I was witnessing the story of a life, and that realization led me to a thought I haven’t been able to shake.

The best stories—the ones that stay with people—aren’t built from grand revelations. They’re built from honest moments that reveal a person’s character. Character is the vessel. Story is the journey. Truth is what each reader intuits and discovers for themselves.

The more I sat with those words, the more I realized they have very little to do with writing. They have everything to do with being human.

CHARACTER Is the Vessel

Whether we’re writing a novel, teaching a class, raising children, leading a business, or simply trying to live a meaningful life, it’s easy to become preoccupied with the message.

What do I want people to learn?

What point am I trying to make?

Am I even qualified to say this?

Those are reasonable questions, but lately I’ve begun to wonder if they’re the wrong ones. People certainly appreciate good ideas, but ideas alone rarely change anyone. What changes us are people. We remember the teacher who believed in us before we believed in ourselves. We remember the friend who quietly stayed when everyone else walked away. We remember the parent whose everyday actions consistently reflected kindness, patience, and love.

Character gives ideas a heartbeat. Without it, even the greatest philosophy remains an abstraction. With it, ordinary moments become unforgettable.

STORY Is the Journey

The older I become, the less interested I am in stories that tell me what to think.

The stories that have stayed with me invited me into another person’s life. They allowed me to celebrate, question, grieve, laugh, and wrestle alongside the characters. They didn’t rush to explain themselves because they trusted me to make the journey.

Perhaps that’s why we rarely remember every detail of a favorite novel or film years later. We remember how it changed us. We remember how it made us see ourselves differently.

Isn’t that true of life as well?

Years after someone is gone, we rarely remember every conversation. We remember how they made us feel. We remember how they lived. Their story continues long after the details have faded.

TRUTH Belongs to the Reader

This may be the realization that surprised me the most.

For a long time, I thought the responsibility of a writer was to communicate truth clearly enough that readers couldn’t possibly miss it. I’m not so sure anymore. Perhaps our responsibility is much simpler—and much more difficult. Perhaps our responsibility is simply to be authentic. Every reader approaches a story carrying a lifetime of experiences, disappointments, hopes, fears, joys, and unanswered questions. No two people will ever read the same book in exactly the same way because no two people have lived the same life.

The story remains the same. The readers do not.

One person may discover forgiveness where another discovers courage. One may find hope while another finally gives themselves permission to grieve. Neither response is wrong because story was never intended to dictate a conclusion. It was meant to create space for discovery.

The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that stories lose something precious the moment they begin telling readers what they must believe.

The stories that change us invite.

They don’t demand. They ask questions. They create space.

And in that space, readers often discover something no author could have placed there. The reader’s own truth.

 

The Greatest Gift a Story Can Give

When I finished my dad’s birthday tribute, I realized the video wasn’t really about birthdays. It wasn’t even about memories. It was about his character.

My dad has spent a lifetime teaching us, but not primarily through words. He has taught us through the way he lives—with kindness, generosity, acceptance, and love. Those lessons weren’t simply spoken; they have been woven into thousands of ordinary moments that, taken together, have become the story of his life…and ours.

Perhaps that’s why the stories we never forget aren’t the ones that explain everything. They’re the ones that awaken something within us. They remind us of who we are. They invite us to become a little more compassionate, a little more curious, and a little more fully ourselves. And perhaps that is why the best stories never truly end. Long after we’ve closed the book—or watched the final scene—we continue writing them into the narrative of our own lives.

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Unforgettable

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Remembering Garry Clark

My brother-in-law Garry’s journey on earth is complete. Last Saturday, we gathered to celebrate his life. My heart is full and travels between beautiful memories of family times, disbelief that Lewy Body Dementia could take him so quickly, and the comfort of knowing he is home with God.

But mostly, I am so grateful for what he inspired our family to do.

For almost 30 years, our time with Garry and his sweet wife Melissa was spent at holiday family gatherings. Honestly, it was easy to take our family time for granted, as though we would always be together. That changed completely when the news came that Garry had Lewy Body Dementia. We knew the window to make memories and spend precious time together was short. Melissa and I jumped into action, planning as many family trips and get-togethers as possible while Garry could still enjoy himself! We even went to Alaska in June of 2019. Garry was healthy and aware, and we all enjoyed seeing some of God’s most majestic creations.

We are so fortunate that we had a couple of years to make the most of every moment we had left with Garry.

Not everyone gets that opportunity. The lyrics of the song Scars in Heaven say it beautifully:

   If I had only known the last time would be the last time
   I would have put off all the things I had to do
   I would have stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
   Now what I’d give for one more day with you

Since Garry’s diagnosis and the death of my brother Kurt, I have become more aware that every moment with our loved ones is precious. Make the most of every moment. You never know when you will create the last unforgettable memory.

Download Garry’s Celebration of Life booklet or make memorial contributions to the Glenn Biggs Institute of Alzheimer’s & Neurodegenerative Diseases Research Fund on behalf of Garry Clark.

Garry's Tribute Video

Tribute video and Celebration of Life booklet created with love by Ja-lene Clark

I thank my God every time I remember you. —Philippians 1:3, NIV

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Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Take the leap! Dare to open your heart and share your wisdom! Start by purchasing a copy of The Journey of the Visionary Writer.

A Tribute to My Brother: Shine On

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I know that many people have challenges keeping their relationships with their siblings healthy. I have been so blessed! My big brother Kurt and I shared many wonderful things, but the thing I cherish the most is our love of music.

The last text I got from Kurt was on September 16, 2020. He wanted me to listen to the song Shine On by Robert Jon and the Wreck. I was too busy that day to listen, and actually, I forgot all about his text. Three short days later, the unthinkable happened; after a lovely day fishing and visiting with family and our Daddy, Kurt went home and then collapsed from a heart attack. Tragically, we took him off life support on September 23, 2020.

The morning Kurt passed, I opened my text messages and saw his song recommendation. I listened to the song he recommended for the very first time with his daughter Carmen. She and I knew it was a message from him, and I knew he wanted me to do his celebration of life video and to use Shine On. For days, I listened to the song, grieving and gathering photos and videos of my beautiful, big-hearted brother. I learned that there were very few photos where Kurt was not smiling, and I loved that! I was so grateful Kurt led me to the song Shine On. It is a perfect theme song for his life.

Somehow, the images all landed in the video I made for his Celebration of Life. I hope the video will remind all those who knew Kurt that he is still shining on in our hearts.

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Saint Mary Rebecca

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My Mom’s 70th birthday was October 11, 2013. To celebrate this special occasion, my sister and I tried to figure out how to honor her. When we thought about what most people instantly associate with her, we knew the answer was chocolate chip cookies.

I thought declaring her the patron saint of chocolate chip cookies would be perfect! Every saint has a prayer, legend, and candle, so I wrote and designed them! The legend is completely true except for a tiny bit of embellishment about the intervention of the Holy Mother. I bought blank holy candles and had wonderful stickers printed with her picture and the prayer, which we placed on the candles that we gave to all those who came to her party.

Mom was so honored and surprised. Our family has been so blessed by her exquisite examples of selfless love!

The Legend of Saint Mary Rebecca

On October 12, 1943, Mary Rebecca Lyon, the fifth child of Theodore and Elizabeth Lyon, made her way into this world. The angels rejoiced for they knew Mary Rebecca would grow to fulfill her sweet purpose.

As a child, Mary Rebecca was bright, curious, and energetic, with a love for adventures, horses, and art. In 1958, she married Kenneth Wayne Elliott, and they brought four children into the world.

Her devotion to faith and belief in God was strong—as was her sensitivity to others’ misery. This sensitivity was a difficult burden for Mary Rebecca, who sought relief. Each day, on the way to work in her car, she faithfully prayed a rosary for someone in need. At night, she lit holy candles and said prayers dedicated to those who were suffering. God listened and answered many of these prayers.

Her sweet purpose was not activated until Mary Rebecca became a grandmother. It was then, in the early 1980s, that Mary Rebecca answered the call of God through the deceivingly simple act of baking chocolate chip cookies. During the holy season each year, she was called to share sweetness with those she loved and souls in need of goodness in their lives. Each year, as the cookie list grew longer and longer, Mary Rebecca became more overwhelmed by the task of baking thousands of cookies. Her sweet purpose had become ever more demanding.

One year, she lost faith, was weary, and decided she could no longer bake cookies. When those lucky enough to be on the annual list heard this sad news, they grieved and then prayed for intercession, asking for just one more cookie.

No one knows what happened, but the legend says that the Divine Mother interceded in Mary Rebecca’s dreams and told her that God was counting on her. It was God’s will that she continue to share sweetness, love, and goodness with others in need through the disguise of her delicious chocolate chip cookies. Thankfully, Mary Rebecca heeded the direction God gave her and vowed to continue her sweet purpose until the time when she passed her holy apron on to her grandchildren.

In celebration of her 70th birthday, the angels rejoiced when her family officially recognized Mary Rebecca as the Patron Saint of Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Saint Mary Rebecca, Patron Saint of Chocolate Chip Cookies prayer
Saint Mary Rebecca, Patron Saint of Chocolate Chip Cookies prayer
Grandma Rebecca's Chocolate Chip Cookies Candle
Grandma Rebecca's Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Mother’s Song

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Mom and Lauren

Mother’s Song

Mother wraps
her arms around
her child
singing softly
a lullaby
of love and laughter
and wishes to come
of the miracle she holds in her
gentle arms.
When the child
has grown
and gone
sometimes
at night
she’ll still hear
Mother’s Song.
And dare
to dream
the night away
in lullaby land
in Mother’s
sweet embrace.

Written by Ja-lene Clark for her Mom, 1996

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Precious Stones and Pearls

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I had a phone conversation with my brother Kurt on September 4, 2020, and our conversation turned to politics.

Kurt and I were on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Our discussion that day was about sharing of “I believe this because.” Ironically, though, right at the moment I was triggered by something Kurt said, our call dropped. I tried to call him back, and he tried to call me, but we could not reconnect. He sent me a text that said, “Next time, sis, let’s talk about guitars!” But we never did get to have that talk. Kurt had a heart attack on September 21st and died a few days later. Though we shared texts, our last conversation was about politics, and that makes me feel terrible.

When Kurt died, my trigger broke. I became immune to being hooked by the news or politics. Those things lost their hold on my heart. I wish our last conversation had been about music because music is something precious we share. When I think about it now, I feel silly about how much weight I once gave to what politicians, celebrities, or the media said/did; those things don’t matter. Is it possible to develop immunity from being triggered in a world where we are fed a constant stream of stories of people suffering, fearful, or being ugly to one another? All that ugliness once had my attention and ate away at my soul. But I can choose to refocus my thoughts on my family and disengage with the ugliness.

Kurt’s death helped break my trigger, but I needed more help. I wanted to find a daily devotional and found one on the Catholic Company website, based on the visions of Saint Hildegard of Bingen, titled Let There Be Light. Reading this book inspired me to start writing again. This passage from pages 22-23 touched me deeply.

I saw
the One who is sitting on the throne,
holding to his breast
what looked like
a lump of black, filthy clay
as big as a human heart,
decorated with precious stones and pearls.
In the lump of dark, muddy clay
we are meant to see ourselves—
widely different from each other,
full of defects,
stupid and blind,
impervious to the good things of the Lord,
blithely ignoring what we should praise,
preferring what we should abhor.
When we should be doing the works of justice,
we choose, often as not, the works of evil.
But God our father,
contemplating this lump of clay
like any father,
hugs us, his children,
close to his breast.
Because he is God
he has the tender love
of a father for his children.
Indeed, so great is his love for us
That he sent his only Son to the cross,
like a meek lamb carried to the slaughter.
And his son brought back
the lost sheep,
bearing them on his shoulders,
precious stones and pearls
with which to grace
the lump of dark clay
he hugs to his breast.
We are clay, and unto clay we shall return.

Pages 22-23 of Let There Be Light (30 Days with a Great Spiritual Teacher) by Hildegard of Bingen (Author), John Kirvan (Editor)

Kurt’s clay sculpture is complete, and he is home with God.

But I am still here—one of the lost sheep Hildegard mentioned, trying to turn my focus each day onto “the impervious goodness of the Lord.” I see Hildegard’s symbolism of pearls as wisdom and precious stones as love. I believe that we take our love and wisdom home to God when we go. So, for the time being, I’ll do my best to gather all the precious stones and pearls I can.

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon
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