Ja-lene Clark

I am a wife, mom, and nana living in the beautiful state of Oklahoma. On my website, I offer my musings on spirituality, creativity, writing, family, and food.

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The Miracle of Shared Destiny

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In September 2023, Tom and I planned an unforgettable journey by train through the beauty and history of the United Kingdom.

I was incredibly excited to explore the grandeur of Scotland and had a strong feeling that being in the Highlands and visiting Rosslyn Chapel would have a profound impact on me. It felt like coming home, almost as if I were reclaiming a lost part of myself from the past.

My grandmother visited Scotland to see my Aunt Debbie when she lived in Fort William in the 1980s. My grandmother said that Scotland was the most beautiful and magical place she had ever been. As I delved into my maternal and paternal Scottish lineage, I discovered that the Elliott Clan, from my father’s side, had a tumultuous history as a fierce border clan. In contrast, my mother’s Lyon Clan was connected to a royal lineage. I was surprised to learn that Queen Elizabeth is also part of the Lyon Clan!

Tom and our group at the train station. September, 2023.

The Journey to Edinburgh

Just before we boarded, our lovely travel guide, Elizabeth, handed out our tickets and seat assignments. Tom and I were seated across from Susie and her partner, Tish. We learned that they split their time between Susie’s Hawaii home and Tish’s California home. These two ladies were avid explorers and shared stories about their travels by train in Africa.

We enjoyed our conversation, cocktails, and watching the beautiful landscapes unfold as we made our way to Edinburgh. I remember Susie asked Tom, “What are those white animals?” Puzzled, Tom replied, “Sheep?” It was hilarious! Susie genuinely did not recognize the sheep because she lived in Hawaii all of her adult life. The sheep indeed broke the ice, and Susie and Tom bonded quite a bit. They had a grounded conversation about real estate investments. I remember Tom briefly mentioning that he was experiencing an odd sense of déjà vu as if we had all been here together before.

Majestic Scottish Landscape. September, 2023.

Tish and I had some sort of cosmic connection. Surrounded by the beauty of the Scottish landscapes, we engaged in the most profound conversation about our perspectives on religion, God, and the stunning cathedrals of the United Kingdom. Toward the end of our ride, Tish and I began talking about losing our brothers. She lost her brother to cancer, and my brother died from a heart attack. I shared a link to my Precious Stones and Pearls post about my brother. That post also explored the wisdom of Hildegard Von Bingen, and because I shared some of my thoughts on Hildegard with Tish, I thought it would interest her. Our train ride was the most extraordinary time with new friends! I will never forget it.

The entire United Kingdom trip did not disappoint. From the history and busyness of London to castles in Edinburgh, the highlands of Fort William, Glasgow, Liverpool, Bath, and Stonehenge, Tom and I had the most marvelous adventure.

A Few Photos from Our Journey

What Are the Chances?

We were seated across from Susie and Tish again during our final dinner. Tish mentioned that she had read my post about Kurt, which touched her heart and made me happy. When my musings touch someone, it’s precious. Tish then shyly shared that she had written a book and had just one chapter left to write. When I asked her about the subject of her book, she revealed that it was about “Healing from breast cancer.” I was stunned. I shared with Tish that just two days after returning home from our trip, I would undergo a breast biopsy because a mass was revealed in my right breast during a diagnostic mammogram.

What are the chances of this synchronicity occurring? I was in awe and wondered if serendipity or fate brought Tish and me together at that precise moment. What are the odds that I would meet a gifted writer on a trip through the United Kingdom who would write the book I needed most at that moment in my life?

Tish sent so many encouraging messages during the tense days after my biopsy. Further treatment was needed, so I also had a lumpectomy. Gratefully, they removed the entire mass, and the pathology said it was precancerous. I would not need further treatment and only need to be monitored with breast MRIs and mammograms every six months.

Creating Miracles

Afterward, our conversations continued, and we formally started working together to finish Tish’s book and get it published. I found it incredibly serendipitous that Tish had stopped writing her book ten years before, precisely when I had stopped writing The Journey of the Visionary Writer! I shared raw, unedited portions of my book in progress with Tish, and she told me how much my writing helped her. Encouraged, I also started writing again. It was fascinating; the more elevated Tish’s writing became, the more momentum I found in completing my writing. We were supporting each other in the most extraordinary way! It was truly a miracle we had met!

I am thrilled to announce that on September 14, 2024, one year from the day Tish and I met on that train to Scotland, her beautiful book A Miracle Within You: Paddling Through Cancer was released into the world. I am so proud of Tish for her monumental accomplishment. She is a gifted writer who has bravely, with great vulnerability, shared her journey of healing from cancer. 

A Miracle Within You: Paddling Through Cancer by Tish Litchfield. Published on Amazon.com September 14, 2024

The Miracle of Shared Destiny

Scotland brought gifts to my soul and renewed my purpose. My intuition was spot on! I believe the miracle I received is shared destiny.

It is Tish’s destiny to write her book, and it is my destiny to help her complete and publish it. Our journey together as writers has been symbiotic—sometimes, I was like a bumblebee pollinating her garden of words, and sometimes, she was like a butterfly pollinating mine! What a wonder-filled garden we have created!

And it all started, symbolically speaking, by uniting in the “United” Kingdom. Yes, we are all united in God’s precious kingdom, and we need only be brave and boldly share the truth about who we are. I imagine our world would be a better place if we simply embraced working alongside the people with whom we share a destiny.

If cancer has entered your life or that of a loved one, I encourage you to visit Tish’s website or get the book at Amazon. This precious book has enriched my life, and I promise it will fill you with inspiration, grace, and hope!

Visit Tish's Website
Buy the Book at Amazon

“Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
–1  Thessalonians 5:11

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

When Lady Liberty Wept

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The day Lady Liberty wept, I remember being at work and watching the towers fall on a tiny portable TV because that was the only office TV. One of my co-workers made a profound statement. She said, “Nothing will ever be the same.” I remember the office closing, and we all went home. I needed gas, and the lines were crazy because no one knew what would come, and the gas station had raised the price to $5 a gallon. I filled it up just in case.

I remember Walmart selling out of American flags.

All the TV stations stopped broadcasting and only showed the rescue efforts.

One month later, I visited New York City for the first time to attend a conference. On the Sunday before Halloween, my co-workers and I explored the city, walking down to Wall Street and the harbor. We got lost and unexpectedly found ourselves very close to Ground Zero.

The smell was awful. Just walking down that street made me feel dirty. The buildings were covered with soot, but oddly, the street was empty. Then we heard an angelic voice singing “God Bless America” acapella and it eerily echoed. We accidentally found ourselves at Ground Zero during the first memorial ceremony. It is one of the most profound memories of my life. I will never forget it.

I pray for all those we lost and for our police and firefighters, especially my son-in-law, Craig Coats, and sister-in-law, Melanie Arthurs Elliott.

We who lived through 9/11 must ensure that our children and grandchildren know what happened that day. Our children need to know the truth of history, untwisted by any momentary political rhetoric. The simple truth is that terrorists hijacked planes, attacked buildings, killed thousands, and forever changed America. We cannot afford to forget, for if we do, the terrorists have won.

God bless America and all first responders.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”—John 8:32

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Why is Unconditional Love So Confusing?

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When was the term “unconditional love” coined? And why has this idea become so widespread that it’s now the expected, preferred, and seemingly “higher” way to love? I’ve been pondering this.

The mind does tricky things with words that begin with “un.”

Often, our brain doesn’t even consciously process the “un.” We typically see the core word first, understanding that the prefix signals an opposition or, more subtly, a lack. In English, “un” usually implies something is missing:

Unclean (lacks cleanliness)
Unhealthy (lacks health)
Untrue (lacks truth)
Unworthy (lacks worth)
So, Unconditionally (lacks conditions)

Ja-lene enjoys the company of her great-niece.

This linguistic nuance creates a fascinating paradox.

If “unconditionally” means “lacks conditions,” then to love unconditionally could literally be interpreted as a condition lacking love. The mind then struggles to reconcile this oppositional idea, striving to make sense of what feels like a contradiction. If our love truly has no conditions, then the concept of “unconditional” love becomes redundant, because the conditions never existed in the first place.

This leads to real-world confusion. Does “unconditional love” mean I should love everyone no matter what they do? If a family member struggles with mental illness or substance abuse, taking advantage of me, am I truly expected to love them “unconditionally,” invite them into my home, and ignore their harmful actions? Isn’t that behavior often labeled as codependent by professional therapists? Wait, I’m not supposed to be codependent, but I am supposed to be unconditionally loving, right? Where is that precise line between unconditional and codependent love?

This is profoundly confusing and creates all sorts of inner conflict, isn’t it? It makes me wonder if we even need “unconditional love” at all.

Here’s my point: Why do we feel the need to modify the word “love” to make it “bigger”? I believe love is expansive enough just as it is. The Beatles didn’t sing, “All You Need is Unconditional Love.” The 60s anthem wasn’t “What the World Needs Now is Unconditional Love.” And Jesus didn’t say unconditionally love one another… he said,

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” —John 13:34 KJV

Jesus was saying to love one another as God loves us. And, you might be interested to learn, the term “unconditional” is never actually used in the Bible.

After contemplating this deeply, I’ve decided to remove “unconditional love” from my vocabulary. Instead, I will simply just use and practice love—without any modification that might lessen that precious “L” word.

I love you!

Ja-lene

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Mirror Reflections

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In 1997, I attended an event in Tulsa where I heard don Miguel Ruiz speak for the first time. It was before he became a best-selling author. Council Oak could not schedule a book signing for him because no one knew who he was then.

Council Oak had just published Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Love, and Amber Allen had published The Four Agreements, but neither book had sold more than a couple thousand copies. Instead of a signing, Paulette Millichap, the publisher at Council Oak, arranged for her friends and the Council Oak employees to hear don Miguel’s teachings. We had a small gathering of less than 20 people at the home of Paulette’s friend, located close to Gilcrease Museum.

The Great Smokey Mirror

Don Miguel was a short man with a big smile, captivating eyes, and thick, gentle Spanish accent. The one thing he spoke about that caught my attention took me years to understand fully. It was the Great Smoky Mirror teaching, interpreted by don Miguel from the Toltecs. When he talked about the mirror, it made perfect sense, but it also confounded me at the same time.

In his book, The Four Agreements, he wrote: 

“This is what he discovered: Everything in existence is a manifestation of the one living being we call God. Everything is God. And he came to the conclusion that human perception is merely light perceiving light. He also saw that matter is a mirror—everything is a mirror that reflects light and creates images of that light—and the world of illusion, the Dream, is just like smoke which doesn’t allow us to see what we really are. The real us is pure love, pure light…’”

Don Miguel stated that every individual acts as a mirror for us and reflects something we need to see within ourselves. It took me six years to understand the essence of his teaching. I finally got it while I was editing and publishing The Toltec Prophecies of Don Miguel Ruiz, and I was able to apply it to my own life experiences.

Is it possible for me to believe that there are no victims in this world?

After meeting don Miguel, I realized that mirror metaphor is a universal concept that different teachers and authors reference. Some refer to it as the funhouse mirror, with the idea being that after reaching a plateau in our personal development, the funhouse mirror effects start to kick in and distort our perceptions. This effect can make things in your life appear exaggerated or distorted. For instance, with an actual funhouse mirror, people may seem closer or farther away than they actually are or appear to have two faces. However, that is just an illusion pointing us inward to a place we need to heal.

Although it seems complicated to accept, if we truly grasp this concept don Miguel was trying to express, we realize that when we take control of our lives and use our power wisely, we will no longer experience situations that make us feel helpless. By taking personal responsibility for all our life circumstances, we are no longer victims blaming others for our situations. And when we interact with others, we can remember that we each have our own individual, highly personal, great smokey mirrors to contend with that can cause confusion or division. Oddly, our reflections serve each other and can help both people grow beyond whatever is causing strife or indifference.

The Great Smokey Mirror is a challenging idea to apply to our everyday lives, especially when we witness suffering or the divisive nature of our world today. But if the world is a reflection of what is happening inside us, then we can also accept that we have the power to change our worldview, which, in turn, will forever change our perception of the world.

Pages 42-43 of the Toltec Prophecies of Don Miguel Ruiz by Mary Carol Nelson. Published when Ja-lene Clark served as Associate Publisher of Council Oak Books in 2003.

The Mirror of Self-Love

When I first left Council Oak and began to work freelance, a significant portion of my income came from conducting writer’s immersions—private, week-long writing sessions. Prior to each session, I signed a confidentiality agreement and cannot disclose the identities of the people I have worked with without permission.

I learned so much during my one-on-one sessions with writers. I realized that each of them faced unique challenges, and the focus of our work together was to help them overcome any resistance that was preventing them from effectively communicating their thoughts. Unfortunately, there is no guidebook that could have taught me how to handle this. It was a skill that I developed through experience and intuition.

During a session, I had the opportunity to work with a woman who was a singer and first-time writer. Despite being a well-traveled and fascinating person, she lacked confidence in her writing skills and struggled with self-doubt.

During our sessions, she made time to practice her music each day. She was passionate and confident while singing and performing, she was preparing for an upcoming performance, and was working on perfecting one song. I enjoyed the daily break from writing and seeing different facets of her. She was a new unconfident writer. As a singer, she loved being on stage! She was born to perform and did so amazingly. When she sang, she lit up and her confidence shined, and that was light years from the woman I had been sitting with who was hesitant about writing a sentence.

I had an idea. I asked her to start singing or speaking the text of her chapters so we could we videotape her discussing what she wanted to include in the book. This was a breakthrough! She loved being on stage and in front of the camera, so that was the place where she was most at home in her creative element. This practice of singing and being on camera helped her start to uncover her voice as a writer and build her confidence in this arena.

On the final day of our immersion, while I watched her practice the song she had practiced all week, I knew what would free her to write on her own once I left. I snuck out of the room and came back, hiding a mirror. When the pianist left, and she and I were alone, I asked her to sing the song one more time, a cappella.

I gave her the mirror and told her to sing the song while looking in the mirror and to replace the word “him” with me. The transformation was instant. I will never forget that moment. The song she had been practicing all week was from Jesus Christ Superstar. This was the song that Mary Magdalene sang about being with Jesus. It only took the first several words for her to “get it.” She sang to her own reflection the lyrics:

“I don’t know how to love ME.”

It’s true that one of the hardest things to do is self-love. But self-love brings confidence and confidence helps us believe in our own abilities and share what we have to offer with others. We live with that person who is looking back at us in the mirror every single moment. I know everything about me, and so I can’t hide from my sorrows, secrets, vulnerabilities, shame, woes, bitterness, and regrets. When we reconcile with ourselves and shine “love me” out into the universe, then our lives begin to transform. It must transform. Why? Because the things that were once reflecting back to us that were buried inside have vanished. No more smoke in the mirror, no more funhouse distortions, and new experiences abound.

Have you ever looked into your own eyes and felt love for you?

Stop for just a moment. Grab a mirror, then come back to this post and press the play button on Frank Sinatra’s song. Replace the word “you” with “me” or “I” as you hear the song. This is a simple, profound experience that will just take a moment to transform your world.

Around the world I’ve searched for ME
I traveled on when hope was gone to keep a rendezvous
I knew somewhere, sometime, somehow
I’d look at ME and I would see the smile I’m smiling now

It might have been in County Down
Or in New York, in gay Paree, or even London town
No more will I go all around the world
For I have found my world in ME

“..for God gave us a spirit NOT of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

—2 Timothy 1:7

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon

Unforgettable

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Remembering Garry Clark

My brother-in-law Garry’s journey on earth is complete. Last Saturday, we gathered to celebrate his life. My heart is full and travels between beautiful memories of family times, disbelief that Lewy Body Dementia could take him so quickly, and the comfort of knowing he is home with God.

But mostly, I am so grateful for what he inspired our family to do.

For almost 30 years, our time with Garry and his sweet wife Melissa was spent at holiday family gatherings. Honestly, it was easy to take our family time for granted, as though we would always be together. That changed completely when the news came that Garry had Lewy Body Dementia. We knew the window to make memories and spend precious time together was short. Melissa and I jumped into action, planning as many family trips and get-togethers as possible while Garry could still enjoy himself! We even went to Alaska in June of 2019. Garry was healthy and aware, and we all enjoyed seeing some of God’s most majestic creations.

We are so fortunate that we had a couple of years to make the most of every moment we had left with Garry.

Not everyone gets that opportunity. The lyrics of the song Scars in Heaven say it beautifully:

   If I had only known the last time would be the last time
   I would have put off all the things I had to do
   I would have stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
   Now what I’d give for one more day with you

Since Garry’s diagnosis and the death of my brother Kurt, I have become more aware that every moment with our loved ones is precious. Make the most of every moment. You never know when you will create the last unforgettable memory.

Download Garry’s Celebration of Life booklet or make memorial contributions to the Glenn Biggs Institute of Alzheimer’s & Neurodegenerative Diseases Research Fund on behalf of Garry Clark.

Garry's Tribute Video

Tribute video and Celebration of Life booklet created with love by Ja-lene Clark

I thank my God every time I remember you. —Philippians 1:3, NIV

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Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Take the leap! Dare to open your heart and share your wisdom! Start by purchasing a copy of The Journey of the Visionary Writer.

A Tribute to My Brother: Shine On

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I know that many people have challenges keeping their relationships with their siblings healthy. I have been so blessed! My big brother Kurt and I shared many wonderful things, but the thing I cherish the most is our love of music.

The last text I got from Kurt was on September 16, 2020. He wanted me to listen to the song Shine On by Robert Jon and the Wreck. I was too busy that day to listen, and actually, I forgot all about his text. Three short days later, the unthinkable happened; after a lovely day fishing and visiting with family and our Daddy, Kurt went home and then collapsed from a heart attack. Tragically, we took him off life support on September 23, 2020.

The morning Kurt passed, I opened my text messages and saw his song recommendation. I listened to the song he recommended for the very first time with his daughter Carmen. She and I knew it was a message from him, and I knew he wanted me to do his celebration of life video and to use Shine On. For days, I listened to the song, grieving and gathering photos and videos of my beautiful, big-hearted brother. I learned that there were very few photos where Kurt was not smiling, and I loved that! I was so grateful Kurt led me to the song Shine On. It is a perfect theme song for his life.

Somehow, the images all landed in the video I made for his Celebration of Life. I hope the video will remind all those who knew Kurt that he is still shining on in our hearts.

Are YOU Destined to Become a Visionary Writer?

Ja-lene Clark’s The Journey of the Visionary Writer: The Five Phases of Experiential Writing illuminates the path from idea to publication. Filled with brilliant insights and deeply personal stories, this book guides visionaries through the spiritual and emotional complexities of sharing their wisdom. Not a typical how-to, it’s a remarkably advanced, healing, and expansive journey.

Take the leap. Dare to share your wisdom. Purchase your copy today!

Order at Amazon